Parenting Advice???

I personally don't mind advice on parenting...even if it comes from someone who hasn't actually raised their own children. Some people have a heart and understanding of children that supercedes the parenting experience.

If parenting knowledge is limited to those who have children then heaven help us as there are is sea of dysfunctional parents raising children and their claim to fame is "that's my child" and or "it didn't hurt me and I turned out fine!" The Ezzo's jump to mind immediately for creating great havoc within the Christian community.

Like you, I sit up and listen when I admire the children of a particular family. I am always curious as to what they did and how. But it only makes up one part of the picture. There is a lot of psychology built into raising a child well. Obviously, our home situation and our own childhood history plays an integral part...but as adults we have to be open to change in our own pre-conceived ideas of parenting.

Understanding how our children learn both intellectually, spiritually and emotionally into strong, healthy human beings is an ongoing process.I must also add that I find it refreshing to find a Christian book that doesn't promote, encourage and abdicate physical punishment as the biblical way! I will gladly read a refreshing take on Christian parenting that supports my own parenting philosophy and what I believe Jesus wants for my children.

From there, I try to learn and do better as my children change and grow and if that is from a book written by someone who may not have their own children...well, I will keep that in my thoughts as I weigh what they have to say.

September.....New Possibilites

You know, the one thing I have learned about homeschooling is to expect the unexpected. I find that homeschooling humbles me...living with your kids 24/7 being privy to their moods and needs and wants on a continual basis can leave you swinging from great highs to great lows.

Being responsible for their education can be daunting...no matter what way you choose to do it. Just when you think you have it all figured out you discover you know nothing! Those darn kids go and change on you and disrupt your best laid plans.

I think the only consistent thing I have done in homeschooling is to be inconsistent. Yet, overall, they are learning...albeit, maybe not to your standards or your neighbours or gasp the "public system" but they do learn and they learn well! So far, they all test grades ahead on the CAT's.

I still have mini panic attacks worrying that somehow this is all for nothing. They may grow up and become disfunctional adults looking for therapy to recover from their time spent at home with their mother. Worse than that...falling into a dead end job, no further ahead than if they had gone the traditional route.

However, even with all the anxiety and stress that comes with this journey I am still glad I'm doing it. I wouldn't trade one single morning where we all loll about and discuss our day or whatever snippet that comes out of their head.

I don't know how they could have ever been as close as they are or as close to their baby sister. This time is such a gift...while your in the midst of another crazy day or another day of the same ole same ole...you don't see the movie being created in your head.

But sit quietly at the end of your day and run through the moments...the laughter, the jokes, the moments when you made a difference and yes the stressful moments and the tears that do come too...it is far grander than any movie or television show. It is the simple and the mundane that you will miss as they grow. You will suddenly get a glimpse into the past and feel the sting of wishing for one more moment, one more snuggle or one more nap together...one more messy kitchen from making pancakes in the morning...one more opportunity to wrap them in a towel as you lift them from the tub.

Now I see glimpses of the men they are to become. I see the strength in their eyes...the firmness in their step. I notice the extra time spent fixing their hair, matching their clothes, or remembering to bring their music wherever they go. I am enjoying the quiet conversations...the shared thoughts and hopes of their young minds. I feel so priviledged to be a part of this...I only pray that I won't screw them up to much with my own emotions or my own inability to keep up with them.

I realized that I am struggling with letting go of my not so little boys who are ready to start letting me go. I see the realization in their eyes that their parents actually have flaws....I'm not used to that! Used to be a cookie and a hug fixed most things...beyond that...$5 did the trick! Now I see that their needs are deeper, our responses have to be more thoughtful and considerate of where they are at...it is hard...but I want to mature with them...

Socialization....

This is from the online June 14th Mallard Fillmore comic strip:

"New studies show that, contrary to popular mythology.....the average home-schooled child has no problem 'socializing' with other children......as long as he remembers to use smaller words and shorter sentences."

After A While....

Just had to share this beautiful poem....

After A While

by Veronica A. Shoffstall

After a while you learn
the subtle difference between
holding a hand and chaining a soul
and you learn
that love doesn't mean leaning
and company doesn't always mean security.
And you begin to learn
that kisses aren't contracts
and presents aren't promises
and you begin to accept your defeats
with your head up and your eyes ahead
with the grace of woman, not the grief of a child
and you learn
to build all your roads on today
because tomorrow's ground is
too uncertain for plans
and futures have a way of falling down
in mid-flight.
After a while you learn
that even sunshine burns
if you get too much
so you plant your own garden
and decorate your own soul
instead of waiting for someone
to bring you flowers.
And you learn that you really can endure
you really are strong
you really do have worth
and you learn
and you learn with every goodbye, you learn...