It is better to be divided by truth than united in error.

It is better to seek truth that hurts and then heals than to speak a lie and remain in bondage.

It is better to be hated for telling the truth than to be loved for telling a lie.

It is better to stand alone in the truth than to stand with many in deception.

If something is true it can stand to be questioned and if it is not then it needs to be!

I had written this in my journal but didn't write down the author.  I tried to find the original author but it seems to be linked to many authors....

your best isn't always good enough....

I have four children that have been my sole passion for so many years.  Every decision from breastfeeding, cloth diapering, homemade baby food to homeschooling, food, toys, tv shows, music...everything has been front and center for me.  My goal was always to raise my children to be healthy and as free from childhood baggage, to give them as idyllic childhood that I could and within that, the love, hugs, kisses and trust that they gave me freely was my fuel when I felt overwhelmed with motherhood and the high expectations I put on myself.

I remember having this aha moment maybe a year or two ago...I realized that my kids now saw me as the flawed individual that I am.  That choosing the right movie was no replacement for losing my temper with my kids.  That picking juice as a snack drink instead of pop did not offer me a guarantee that they would believe as I believe in the future.  All my high ideals to give them the best was minimized when you finally really see each child as free to make their own choices, and they may not be what you would choose.  I was discovering that my kids were incredibly individual and they were on their own path and all I can do is guide them, love them and pray for them. 

I have one kid who sees no real benefit in studying to hard since the high achieving NB Education system does not count your marks as important until grade 11.  How do you fight such a lame attitude???  He feeds my fear of mediocrity and the dumbing down of our children to be sheeps in a system geared to raise a generation of people who do not question...I may see a future that will be a huge challenge to the young people of today, many who will need to take up the mantle to solve some huge problems and to stand firm in their convictions!  He may see a life as being a creator of the latest video games...ack!!!!  All I can do is encourage, set limits and trust in the big picture which is hidden from me right now.

I think I am realizing that you can only do your best and your best may not be good enough..and that is for all things, not just raising your children.  We are all on this journey of life and and we all need to blaze our own trails.  I have this wonderful little boy who comes into the food pantry at church.  His name is Donovan and he has been visiting each week to receive some new books that I give him to read and some treats such as drinking boxes, granola bars, etc.. He has stolen my heart because here is this kid coming in each week, his coat is old, my offers for new mitts are refused, today I even zippered his coat for him before he left into the -17 temperatures...he leads me to wonder about his future.  Often people can rise above their tough upbringings and many times not.  I can only do the small amount that I'm doing for this little boy and pray that it reminds him that people do care, he is important and that God loves him.

I'm bad for having 3-4 books on the go, I often read a topic based on my mood.  Well, this book is amazing and I'm loving it and it suits all my moods!  It doesn't just appeal to me because I was born in Ireland, but because it encompasses all aspects of Celtic Christianity.  So much has been lost that was good in favour of conformity to one way.  This book reminds me of a more grass roots, instinctive way of sharing God's love.

This book stressed how actions speak louder than words, that Christianity is caught more than taught, and that the most powerful tool for evangelism is Christian hospitality. Hunter painted a beautiful picture of the the Church as the Gathered Community. How do we move from buildings and programs to this kind of understanding of ourselves - and not just by knowing it but by living it?

The Real Work of Christmas - Love

December was insane for me...all the voluteer work that I have been involved in this past year along with a new job, backed up into Christmas in the most insane way. I spent many a days fighting off anxiety attacks, but thankfully it all worked out, I fulfilled all my responsibilities and I hope made a small difference in people's Christmas.

More so than ever, today feels new. Church was good today, I felt like we moved our walls to make room for more people. I really hope that in 2012 I can continue on in where God is taking me, that I can keep His plans front and center and ignore the stuff around me that can tear me down. This little poem from the blog Celtic Treasure says it all....

When the last present has been opened
and the last mouth fed.
When weariness lays like a blanket over all mankind -
The real work of Christmas begins:

To seek the lost
To support the lonely
To feed the starving
To shelter the homeless
To console the broken
To love the unlovely
To pray for peace
To...
LOVE.


(c) Liz Babbs