Before you speak to me about your religion, first show it to me in how you treat other people; before you tell me how much you love your God, show me in how much you love all His children; before you preach to me of your passion for your faith, teach me about it through your compassion for your neighbors. In the end, I'm not as interested in what you have to tell or sell as in how you choose to live and give. - Cory Booker (Mayor of Newark, NJ)

Homeless...

Homeless Cuddling Dog -by Kirsten Bole 

Today a man came into our church pantry looking for help.  All he wanted was some dog food for his dog.  He was homeless, living in his van and he said he had enough food to get by but he needed food for his dog.  I can't get this out of my head.  I still see him climbing back into his beat up van.

I feel sad tonight...frustrated that I can't do more, that I have to limit how much food a person can get because we can't keep up, because the need is so great, because they are outside our struggling little church zone, because so many people think feeding the poor is a choice.

Ouch...

“When a poor person dies of hunger it has not happened because God did not take care of him or her. It has happened because neither you nor I wanted to give that person what he or she needed.”
― Mother Teresa

It is better to be divided by truth than united in error.

It is better to seek truth that hurts and then heals than to speak a lie and remain in bondage.

It is better to be hated for telling the truth than to be loved for telling a lie.

It is better to stand alone in the truth than to stand with many in deception.

If something is true it can stand to be questioned and if it is not then it needs to be!

I had written this in my journal but didn't write down the author.  I tried to find the original author but it seems to be linked to many authors....

your best isn't always good enough....

I have four children that have been my sole passion for so many years.  Every decision from breastfeeding, cloth diapering, homemade baby food to homeschooling, food, toys, tv shows, music...everything has been front and center for me.  My goal was always to raise my children to be healthy and as free from childhood baggage, to give them as idyllic childhood that I could and within that, the love, hugs, kisses and trust that they gave me freely was my fuel when I felt overwhelmed with motherhood and the high expectations I put on myself.

I remember having this aha moment maybe a year or two ago...I realized that my kids now saw me as the flawed individual that I am.  That choosing the right movie was no replacement for losing my temper with my kids.  That picking juice as a snack drink instead of pop did not offer me a guarantee that they would believe as I believe in the future.  All my high ideals to give them the best was minimized when you finally really see each child as free to make their own choices, and they may not be what you would choose.  I was discovering that my kids were incredibly individual and they were on their own path and all I can do is guide them, love them and pray for them. 

I have one kid who sees no real benefit in studying to hard since the high achieving NB Education system does not count your marks as important until grade 11.  How do you fight such a lame attitude???  He feeds my fear of mediocrity and the dumbing down of our children to be sheeps in a system geared to raise a generation of people who do not question...I may see a future that will be a huge challenge to the young people of today, many who will need to take up the mantle to solve some huge problems and to stand firm in their convictions!  He may see a life as being a creator of the latest video games...ack!!!!  All I can do is encourage, set limits and trust in the big picture which is hidden from me right now.

I think I am realizing that you can only do your best and your best may not be good enough..and that is for all things, not just raising your children.  We are all on this journey of life and and we all need to blaze our own trails.  I have this wonderful little boy who comes into the food pantry at church.  His name is Donovan and he has been visiting each week to receive some new books that I give him to read and some treats such as drinking boxes, granola bars, etc.. He has stolen my heart because here is this kid coming in each week, his coat is old, my offers for new mitts are refused, today I even zippered his coat for him before he left into the -17 temperatures...he leads me to wonder about his future.  Often people can rise above their tough upbringings and many times not.  I can only do the small amount that I'm doing for this little boy and pray that it reminds him that people do care, he is important and that God loves him.

I'm bad for having 3-4 books on the go, I often read a topic based on my mood.  Well, this book is amazing and I'm loving it and it suits all my moods!  It doesn't just appeal to me because I was born in Ireland, but because it encompasses all aspects of Celtic Christianity.  So much has been lost that was good in favour of conformity to one way.  This book reminds me of a more grass roots, instinctive way of sharing God's love.

This book stressed how actions speak louder than words, that Christianity is caught more than taught, and that the most powerful tool for evangelism is Christian hospitality. Hunter painted a beautiful picture of the the Church as the Gathered Community. How do we move from buildings and programs to this kind of understanding of ourselves - and not just by knowing it but by living it?

The Real Work of Christmas - Love

December was insane for me...all the voluteer work that I have been involved in this past year along with a new job, backed up into Christmas in the most insane way. I spent many a days fighting off anxiety attacks, but thankfully it all worked out, I fulfilled all my responsibilities and I hope made a small difference in people's Christmas.

More so than ever, today feels new. Church was good today, I felt like we moved our walls to make room for more people. I really hope that in 2012 I can continue on in where God is taking me, that I can keep His plans front and center and ignore the stuff around me that can tear me down. This little poem from the blog Celtic Treasure says it all....

When the last present has been opened
and the last mouth fed.
When weariness lays like a blanket over all mankind -
The real work of Christmas begins:

To seek the lost
To support the lonely
To feed the starving
To shelter the homeless
To console the broken
To love the unlovely
To pray for peace
To...
LOVE.


(c) Liz Babbs

I love this image and its message.  I see it in layers...so often people in need fade into the surroundings, we walk by them unseen.  We sit beside them in churches, walk by them sleeping on park benches or pushing strollers in the street.  We avert our eyes or turn our heads when our conscience tells us that someone is in need.

If someone is bold enough to ask for money we'll throw in a toonie and call it a day!  We can pat ourselves on the back and say to ourselves aren't we kind, non-judgemental.  Or, we'll donate our cans to the food bank during Christmas parades or public events and the food bank will have to be diligent to make sure the food isn't out of date and expired.

We'll vote during elections, yet rarely ask our candidates about low income housing, social benefits, or laws that protect children from sexual predators & abusers.

We bemoan kids roaming the streets or pity the homeless teen but rarely step out of our comfortable homes and routines to offer a hand to the organizations that struggle to stay open to help these kids.  If you can't give your time then give them your money.  When was the last time you wrote your local/provincial/federal politician to say you want change?  You want more low income housing, you want empty buildings donated to great charities that help people, you want programs in place to allow low income teens to have tutors and opportuities to continue their education beyond highschool...tell them!

Yet, I believe in change, I believe in the incredible goodness of mankind.  I believe in the people around me. We often feel stuck not knowing where to start or how to help.  We feel that one can of soup that we could donate won't make a difference.  Yet, if everyone realized that every small step forward on the path to change does cause a ripple effect.  You might be the person that starts by donating a can of soup only to later open a soup kitchen and feed the multitudes.  You might be that teacher or nurse or neighbour who sees someone hurting and reach out to them and make a difference.  You might be the letter that reaches the right politician that inspires them to take up a cause!

Believe in change!

"Faith has nothing to do with feelings or with impressions, with improbabilities or with outward experiences. If we desire to couple such things, then we are no longer resting on the Word of God, because faith needs nothing of the kind. Faith rests on the naked Word of God. When we take Him at His word, the heart is at peace." George Muller

25 Years

I just celebrated my 25th wedding anniversary with my husband by going away together without our kids for six days!!!  I felt quite melancholy about the whole thing.  We married way to young at age 20, not knowing who we were to become and from that we've done a lot of growing together, not always gracefully, often we felt like two ships headed in different directions but we are anchored to one another and I know that won't change.

We created four amazing children together after being told it would never happen.  We worked side by side to build two houses together with our own hands which was quite a definining experience and we have ploughed through some mighty tough times that have broken other marriages.

We have done our best to love and honour one another and our vows.  I know I can count on my husband to have my back.  Even though we are so different in so many ways, we support one another.  He knows me better than anyone, knows my sorrows, my joys, my fears and my deepest desires of the heart. 

From being away this week together...alone, I realized that we'll never be the uber cool, madly in love couple as seen on tv or blog land, we bicker, we correct one another way to much, we point out mistakes in one another yet, we both have a deep love & respect for each other and all that we have poured into our marriage and our family....he is my husband and I love him deeply.

Homeless Campers

We're on our first camping trip in Maine.  We noticed the other night three young people setting up late, they had two tents, some basic supplies but nothing extra.  Their camping spot was dark, they have no cooler and we drove by them today walking into town.

My son Jack noticed also how little they had.  Tonight is our last night here and we were going to have a fire.  Instead he asked if he could give them our firewood which he then took over to them.  I was touched by his concern for them and I went over and struck up a conversation.  I offered them my white twinkle lights so that they could see at night. I had wanted to give them the lights last night buy my husband said I was nuts!   Unfortunately, they don't have electric on their site so they are of no use.  I learned they have nothing much left to eat and they are homeless, hoping to get into somewhere in the next couple of weeks.  They have paid up for the next week but don't really know where they will get food from.

We will be helping them more in the morning, but it just makes me feel incredibly sad and no, the contrast in camping situations isn't lost on any of us tonight.

I Want Change...

The Bible’s basic narrative points to the restoration of the whole world, material and spiritual, as the aim of salvation. Christian churches, therefore, must work for justice and peace in their neighborhoods through service, even as they call individuals to conversion. Indifference to the poor and disadvantaged demonstrates a lack of understanding of grace and God’s free salvation. A church that grasps the gospel will be holistically faithful in both word (Bible teaching) and deed (acts of service).


Tim Keller - Redeemer Church

Distance in her Eyes.

There is a distance in her eyes

No bridge could ever span

A distance in her eyes

Between what was and is

Two different worlds

Collide within her soul

Fallen moment of heartbreak

Reflected, yet hidden

in the distance in her eyes

searching the invisible

restoration a forsaken hope

for the distance in her eyes

disclose the broken heart

searching for a time before

forlorn hope that all will mend

and be as before, sorrow

such sorrow found within

the distance in her eyes

Adrian Wait

The Layers

I have walked through many lives,
some of them my own,
and I am not who I was,
though some principle of being
abides, from which I struggle
not to stray.

When I look behind,
as I am compelled to look
before I can gather strength
to proceed on my journey,
I see the milestones dwindling
toward the horizon
and the slow fires trailing
from the abandoned campsites,
over which scavenger angels
wheel on heavy wings.

Oh, I have made myself a tribe
out of my true affections,
and my tribe is scattered!
How shall the heart be reconciled
to its feast of losses?
In a rising wind
the manic dust of my friends,
those who fell along the way,
bitterly stings my face.
Yet I turn, I turn,
exulting somewhat,
with my will intact to go
wherever I need to go,
and every stone on the road
precious to me.

In my darkest night,
when the moon was covered
and I roamed through wreckage,
a nimbus-clouded voice
directed me:
"Live in the layers,
not on the litter."
Though I lack the art
to decipher it,
no doubt the next chapter
in my book of transformations
is already written.
I am not done with my changes.

 Stanley Kunitz (1905–2006)

Rob Bell

Below is a video from James White a theologian & apologist.  He has prepared this interesting video challenging Rob Bell and his Nooma #15 video which had bothered me the first time I saw it, and like him; the end in particular bothered me.  Like him or not, he asks good questions and does his research.

little bird

The little bird perched in the golden cage
knew not how to fly
her wings were clipped
not by scissors
but from neglect.

She had faded memories of days gone by
of flying free
the bright, shiny blue sky
the wind blowing thru her feathers
the warmth of sun
the renewing of rain

The trappings of love
the trappings of being needed
the weight of pleasing
caused her wings to sag
to fly no more.

Figuring Life Out - One Thousand Gifts

The Heidelberg Project

This video is inspirational! 

Weightless

I recently discovered Christa Wells an amazing musician!  I have been listening to the song  Weightless over & over!  Unless you've lived in a bunker for most of your life, you will appreciate her music.  You can hear the song by visiting her site (look for the nimbit player and scroll to the song). Listen and ponder the weightlessness of being forgiven!  If I was more techie, I might know how to put her song into this blog for you to listen to as you read the lyrics.  There are no videos to go with this song which would have made it easier to share.


Click here to listen  It is song #8  Scroll down the page till you find the little music player.



Weightless

Nothing scalds
like the memory of wrongs I did when I was young
how could I, how could I
I’m sorry


I see the eyes
of the ones that I so carelessly abused
how could I, how could I
I’m sorry


Well, I’ve carried this a long time
in a well hidden bundle on my back
but I’ve realized repentance is weightless
so I’ll leave my burden on the tracks


And then I face
the yesterdays that disappointed
misunderstood by a cruel world
and I’m angry


You might suppose
the years would close the curtains on a scene
from such a time, but this was mine to harbor


Well, I’ve carried this a long time
in a well-hidden bundle on my back
but I’ve realized forgiveness is weightless
so I’ll leave my burden on the tracks


Its gonna be like delivery that’s overdue and getting too heavy
Then suddenly, I’m weightless

I am

In the stillness I am
In the noise I am
In my sleep I am
In a crowd I am

Alone.