Suffering

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There is so much suffering going on in the world right now. From earthquakes in China, to cyclones in Burma, a growing food shortage that is affecting people in over 28 countries, wars, floods, Darfur, etc... What is the average person to do? I could blog about it, encourage you to give to the Red Cross or World Vision two charities I support...but in reality, talk is cheap and being a laptop do-gooder costs me nothing and makes it look like I'm actually doing something.

For those who actually work on the front lines...your in my thoughts and prayers...your really making a difference! At this time in my life, all I can offer you is my money and prayers. I'm not sure where the church is in times like this. The only message I hear from the church is disagreement on who has the "right" theology, who is cooler, hipper and more cutting edge, hippy~esque, too judgemental, not judgemental enough! Turn on the tv or blog-land and so called do gooders have their hands out wanting you to support their efforts via money to maintain their image of doing something when I truly question that they do anything!

I'm definitely dis-illusioned.

The lonliest day of the year....

Why can't Christmas ever satisfy? I anticipate Christmas each and every year. I believe in the magic of christmas, I believe in the majesty of Christ's birth, yet, each and every year I find myself feeling sad, depressed, lonely, disappointed, tired, discouraged, aching for more, knowing I am missing out, knowing somehow I must be deficient because I do not feel privy to the magical feeling that so many people talk about.

I have come to the realization that christmas is a series of moments in amongst the hard work and worry. It is the intangible moments I live for...yet, my soul yearns for something deeper...I want to feel the enormity of God's great gift to mankind. Yet, in amongst the shopping, cleaning, cooking, bill paying, worries, world events, the suffering of so many, the general stuff of life, it gets lost.

I envy those with time...I want to be doing something real and tangible...I want to be amongst the needy rather than those who think they need...I'm tired of the whining of our generation. The grandiose talk and little to no action...and yes, I hold myself in that camp! I know that caring for my children, family and friends is important...especially my children...but the ache, the palatible urge to do more burns deep within.

Maybe 2008 will be my year for making a difference. Doing something meaningful, where I know that my efforts are appreciated, that I can bring a smile, a feeling of love and warmth to another human being...someone who truly is deserving....I am coming to the conclusion that I won't find Jesus in some of the places I have been spending time...they seem to be dead ends...I have a feeling I will meet Jesus on the street...am I ready, am I able?