Wednesday, September 03, 2014

DO NOT GO GENTLE INTO
THAT GOOD NIGHT

Do not go gentle into that good night,
Old age should burn and rage at close of day;
Rage, rage against the dying of the light.Though wise men at their end know dark is right,
Because their words had forked no lightning they
Do not go gentle into that good night.
Good men, the last wave by, crying how bright
Their frail deeds might have danced in a green bay,
Rage, rage against the dying of the light.
Wild men who caught and sang the sun in flight,
And learn, too late, they grieved it on its way,
Do not go gentle into that good night.
Grave men, near death, who see with blinding sight
Blind eyes could blaze like meteors and be gay,
Rage, rage against the dying of the light.
And you, my father, there on the sad height,
Curse, bless me now with your fierce tears, I pray.
Do not go gentle into that good night.
Rage, rage against the dying of the light.
Dylan Thomas

Monday, April 28, 2014

Hartley ~ Sweet Hartley



I had lunch today with my good friend Hartley Biggs.  He turned 88 and myself along with my other two wonderful lady friends Marion Sherwood & Jean Watters.  What was so touching was how appreciative Hartley was to spend time with us.  That we would take him to lunch.  When we were leaving, he said to me again, thank you for doing this.  It humbled me, because I often grumble about listening to the same old stories over and over and over again.  But, Hartley is special.  He reminds me of my Uncle Jimmy and of men who were my ideal as grandas.

Sunday, February 16, 2014

Family Dinners


Tonight we had a pretty great meal, all together in my pretty diningroom that to this day I still love! We just had a major snow storm, the kids were outside most of the afternoon shovelling our driveway and my parents so I made a turkey dinner.  As everyone was bantering, arguing in that special way that only brings laughter, I couldn't help but remember all the many meals around this table with people I have loved and cared for who have moved on or passed away.  I cherish the memories!

I feel very melancholoy of late, grateful for my amazing children, my husband, my family.  I wish I could put my hands around the ones I love and protect them from the harm of this world, but I can't.  I do feel God's hand around me, helping me stay the course during these tough days of uncertainty and change.

Tuesday, December 31, 2013

Over


2013...the year that left me cold.

Tuesday, December 03, 2013

Elf on the Shelf!

Okay, so whom ever invented Elf on the Shelf I'm happy for you!  Your uber rich because umpteen million of these little devils have been sold to add late night havoc to every mother's day!  Now at the end of my day, usually around 11pm or later I jump up in panic because I didn't do something amazing with the Elf!

My daughter laments to me how her Elf doesn't move from his perch...EVER!  I hear all the tales from school (the other place where kids learn how inadequate you are without actually saying that) as they fill you in with all the amazing details of other kids lives and at this time of year it is Elf!

Last year I managed to pull off a few tricks...nothing major for this craft/elf challenged mother!  I peeled open a chocolate bar and took a bite and set it on Elfs lap, I moved him inside the Playmobile advent calendar drawer, and I think I recall sticking him inside my daughter's Barbie house.

However, this year I really had to up my game.  She is ten this year and I realize that this is probably her last Christmas believing in all things magical and wonderful like Santa, tooth fairies and elves!  So I googled Elf on the Shelf, I poured through Pintrest (thank goodness for Pintrest) and I came up with a doozy that to my delight blew her away this morning!




Ella has a wicked sense of humour so I think I will stick to naughty elf pranks (when I remember or can muster up the enthusiasm) and hopefully build some lasting memories of this Christmas season.



Monday, November 04, 2013

Isn't this great!

“What is the use of living, if it be not to strive for noble causes and to make this muddled world a better place for those who will live in it after we are gone?…I avow my faith that we are marching towards better days. Humanity will not be cast down.  We are going on swinging bravely forward along the grand high road and already behind the distant mountains is the promise of the sun.” 

Winston S. Churchill (Dundee, Scotland, on 10 October 1908)

Thursday, October 31, 2013

Change



You can feel it, feel it moving closer, you try to run ahead, duck, hide, but change is coming and you can't stop it.  It is like a train gathering speed.  I'm afraid.

Sunday, October 13, 2013

Choosing to be Thankful!

There are so many things this past year that have been both sad and tragic.  But, with Thanksgiving this weekend and feeling conflicted on even acknowledging the holiday, I realized that I have so much to be thankful for and appreciative.  It is the hard times, the sorrow, that builds our muscles so to speak; to find joy in this life even when inside you're weeping.  It make us appreciate people and the little things of life that make us happy.




Wednesday, September 18, 2013

Hindsight

Hindsight is one of those things that can spur change and crush your spirit all at the same time.  If we only knew how precious time is, how choices and decisions we make reach into the future to either soothe us or wound us.  Would we do it differently, would we prioritize people and relationships over others?  All we can do is make the best choices we can with what we know; and do our best.  Sometimes as the saying goes, "your best just isn't good enough" but often it is all we have in the moment and on this crazy journey of life.

Wednesday, August 07, 2013

ABC's

This is what age must learn about:
The ABC of dying.
The going, yet not going,
The loving and leaving,
And the unbearable knowing and knowing” 
― E.B. White

Tuesday, August 06, 2013

Seeing through a Glass Darkly




We walk through this life making choices every day, hoping that the choices you make, the direction you are going is the right one.  You wake up each day believing you have enough time in your day to be with the ones you love and care about and if you don't there is always tomorrow or the weekend.  Why do we presume this?

In an instant all the choices you have made, the time you invested into things or people that you believed were important come up short when faced with the reality of how fragile our time is here on this earth.  You realize that we can only see what is in front of us today yet we live our lives as if the future is wide open, ours to manage and fill.  We can't presume anything about the future.  You can hope for the future, you can live your life believing in a future, yet acknowledging how limited our view into the future is.

If we knew how much time each of us have would we live differrently?  How would we choose to live?  As a mother whose children have grown in what seems like an instant, I feel time passing me by and I realize as these children grow up that I lose control of their life.  It was our job to keep our children safe, to keep them healthy and happy.  Now I see how limited our control really was.  Life happens, and when reality hits it will take your breath away.

For now we see through a glass, darkly; but then face to face: now I know in part; but then shall I know even as also I am known.  1 Cor. 13:12 KJV

Thursday, July 11, 2013

Fragile



As days speed up, you realize that time stands still for no one.  We have no control over those we love, no control over those we love from a far, nor those we think we will one day reconnect with.  Time is fleeting, life is fragile.

Thursday, June 06, 2013

"Entre Nous"


We are secrets to each other
Each one's life a novel
No one else has read
Even joined in bonds of love
We're linked to one another
By such slender threads

We are planets to each other
Drifting in our orbits
To a brief eclipse
Each of us a world apart
Alone and yet together
Like two passing ships

[Chorus:]
Just between us
I think it's time for us to recognize
The differences we sometimes fear to show
Just between us
I think it's time for us to realize
The spaces in between
Leave room for you and I to grow

We are strangers to each other
Full of sliding panels
An illusion show
Acting well rehearsed routines
Or playing from the heart?
It's hard for one to know

[Chorus]

We are islands to each other
Building hopeful bridges
On a troubled sea
Some are burned or swept away
Some we would not choose
But we're not always free

Rush

Tuesday, May 14, 2013


You know, I will never be that person whom someone would identify as a"good Christian".  I so often feel my  failings, regret my quick opinions, my anger that sits under the surface ready to rise up when I encounter everything from slow drivers, slow check out lines to blatant injustice, power plays or fake individuals.  I wear my failings quite well.

I continually have to keep handing over my angst to God and ask him to forgive me my negative thoughts and words.  I need to put my head down and concentrate on where God has placed me in the present.  I am blessed and strengthened by great people around me, a church that though not perfect has a huge heart and a caring, strong pastor.  I need to love my wonderful husband and kids more, my family, my close friends who stick by me, and the amazing people I meet almost daily through my volunteer work.  They are my inspirations...be it people that I am blessed to serve or those who work along side me to those who come up and stuff money into my hand to help buy food.

I was feeling strangled lately by my inability to lay down my heartache for the kids in our area who live in situations that would leave you breathless.  I have washed and fed little ones that you know are going home to situations that would break your heart.  But, through prayers of faithful friends and sharing my sadness with those close to me, I was reminded by Jesus that I need to lay it down and trust him.  I can only do what I can do.  I can't fix the situations but I can love these people and do the best I can.

I always silently pray to myself that I...this woefully inadequate, cracked, flawed individual somehow shows through serving others the amazing love that Jesus Christ has for them.  So many people believe they are unworthy of forgiveness or love from God...I hope that I can somehow express to them that God loves them exactly where they are at...He did that for me.

Sunday, October 21, 2012

Sinead O'Connor & Mental Health

I love Sinead O'Connor...and when she blasted onto the music scene we were both the same age, I loved her music, her angst, her in your face attitude and opinions and I still do!  I just had to share this because I have never seen anything so beautifully written about how people with mental health issues are treated by those around them.  Sinead O'Connor suffers from depression and bi-polar so she especially can speak on the subject.


Sinead to Play Benefit Concert....
Sinead returns to live work with an acoustic gig to raise funds and awareness for Irish mental health charity Mad Pride. The show will take place in Cork at The Triskel Arts Centre on the 19th of October….
She said: “I’m delighted to be taking part in this event as sufferers of mental illness are in my opinion the most vulnerable people in our country and stigma around mental illness is crushing.
We live in a society where ‘crazy’ is a term of abuse. where if you have a mental illness, too often that fact will be used as something with which to abuse and dismiss you.
I don’t mind having a mental illness. But I do mind having it used as something abusive people can bash me with. And I deeply mind how daily that takes place.
I’m hoping by being involved in stigma breaking, not only will my life in ireland improve but that the lives of other sufferers may improve also.
We are people for whom self esteem can be difficult. And being lashed by stigma doesn’t help.
I like what mad pride are doing because we should be proud of ourselves and not allow other peoples lack of knowledge or understanding bring us down or Shame us.
Let’s put the fun back in dysfunctional.”

I also love Glenn Close...one of my favourite actors!

Monday, June 11, 2012


Before you speak to me about your religion, first show it to me in how you treat other people; before you tell me how much you love your God, show me in how much you love all His children; before you preach to me of your passion for your faith, teach me about it through your compassion for your neighbors. In the end, I'm not as interested in what you have to tell or sell as in how you choose to live and give. - Cory Booker (Mayor of Newark, NJ)

Sunday, May 20, 2012

Homeless...

Homeless Cuddling Dog -by Kirsten Bole 
Today a man came into our church pantry looking for help.  All he wanted was some dog food for his dog.  He was homeless, living in his van and he said he had enough food to get by but he needed food for his dog.  I can't get this out of my head.  I still see him climbing back into his beat up van.

I feel sad tonight...frustrated that I can't do more, that I have to limit how much food a person can get because we can't keep up, because the need is so great, because they are outside our struggling little church zone, because so many people think feeding the poor is a choice.


Sunday, March 04, 2012

Ouch...

“When a poor person dies of hunger it has not happened because God did not take care of him or her. It has happened because neither you nor I wanted to give that person what he or she needed.”
― Mother Teresa