Tuesday, October 24, 2006

Peeking in Windows...

(Like all my older posts on this blog, I wrote this one on myspace which wasn't listed in the directory.)

When I was a kid I used to enjoy walking home in the evening because I could see inside the windows of strangers homes. I would often wonder what type of family lived there...were they happy, what did they eat for supper, how many kids did they have...

Mainly as I walked by, I wondered what secrets might lurk inside these homes. These cosy looking homes that glowed brightly from their livingroom windows on cool dark October nights. It only suggested a lovely, cosy homelife...but we all realize that things are never what they seem.

It only dawned on me today after Shane challenged me on why I hide behind my blog...why I won't list my blog in my own community or give my real name....I have thought of many reasons and as I write them out none of them make sense and they seem silly...but for now I can't. So... I will ponder that one for a while longer.

I am now wondering if I should end this blog on myspace? The last thing I want to be is two sided. I write what I feel and I have no fear of standing behind what I say. As I write this I realize that some of my venting is in part due to the fact that I have not had the opportunity to say what I feel to the people I want to say it to. However, I won't be saying anything to Michele's parents anytime soon because they wouldn't hear me.

The internet is a big place but at the same time is is also like a small town. I won't be using this spot to vent about people close to me because it is no different than shouting at your kids...you can't undue an unkind word...I don't want to be unkind and if I have something to say that needs to be said I had better do it after much thought and prayer...and if needed, to the individual that is causing me turmoil. Maybe it is time to just start sending emails to myself the way I used to...for my eyes only!

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